Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Three she would be

Today we are thinking a lot about Linnea. Today our Linnea Grace Lee would be three years old. I can only imagine what that would be like for all of us. We miss her every day and Annabelle still talks and dreams about her day and night, literally.. she talks about her in her sleep sometimes! :) You know, there will always be that part of me that is empty b/c she is not here. Knowing she is in Heaven gives me a certain type of comfort, but it doesn't put the sensation of touching her soft skin in my fingertips. It doesn't put the scent of her in my nostrils. And it does not put the comfort of her hug in my chest. We survive on the memory of those things. I am realizing more and more that I feel most loved by my children when they show me that they need me.,that they want me. When a parent loses a child there is no longer that feeling of being loved by them. That feeling of being wanted or needed by them. We are designed to provide, but there is no longer anything to provide. That is, for me, what makes Linnea's death tough. But, I think these are good things. There was one aspect of creation that God said was not good, and that was that Adam was alone. God created us to desire the company and relationship of other people and it is GOOD to long for another's company. Let's not lose focus on the goodness that is our desire for others. And let's not forget that goodness that is another's desire for us! It is divine.

In the Bible the Apostle Paul said that "to die is gain," and we do not believe that Linnea's death was an exception to that fact. It marked the start of her new life, the perfect life. She is where we'll all be happiest, and we are confident in that.

Thank you for your support and belief in us! The Lees

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